I often ask myself why I don't "want" things like I used to when I was younger (I'm 19 now).

I am not sure that I don't "want", I think I'm being pulled apart by all the things I want as it is so much easier to do so now.

The internet is a golden pot, and I can utilize it to create anything that I want of myself. The problem is that I want everything, and the truth is that I wouldn't be able to do everything, everywhere, all at once (Yes, that was a movie reference 🍿, and yes you should watch it)

My mind keeps traversing through the different paths my decisions could take me to, and whilst this might not be a unique experience that only plagued (risky word, considering the times) my generation, I think it's quite heightened due to the internet and the ocean of possibilities it introduces us to.

I wonder how many people resort to "not wanting" anything as a result of the paradox of choice.

Trying to look at things in a newer light is still a work in progress (😉) for me, but I am more aware now than I was before (baby steps count?)

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“The problem is that I want everything.”

I think that’s absolutely what the internet and generally speaking an abundance mindset (which is on the whole a good thing in many cases) can lead to. I like to say that I think commitment is underrated as the thing to do once you “want” something. I explored similar ideas in an another essay, if you’re curious :)


I do think it’s this paradox of choice that haunts us. We’re for the most part missing the ethical frameworks to navigate infinite choice, because you can’t optimize your utility in an unbounded problem space.

I’ll leave more to say for another day, I think. Thanks for reading :)

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I spend a lot of time thinking about what I "want" but struggle with getting to a good answer. Do you have any frameworks / other questions you ask yourself that help you build an answer to this question?

Also, what Simone de Beauvoir book is this? https://twitter.com/gonzalo__nunez/status/1447761841728360452?s=20&t=VSGYrvmKb9gdbG9NRm7LLQ

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I struggle with this too and am constantly trying to stress-test my answer to this whole "what do I want?" question. I think this struggle might just be the name of the game, it's probably closer to a constant struggle than a single moment of nirvana where everything clicks.

I'm trying to write an essay now that starts to dig at this, I want to try to do a little more prescribing this time. (This essay felt like strictly a diagnosis with no solutions).

I think you might enjoy this piece in Palladium, it definitely chips away at the fundamental question here: https://palladiummag.com/2022/01/06/quit-your-job/

Hope that helps. You'll get an essay from me on this coming soon hopefully––and the book is "What is Existentialism?", highly recommend :)

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